Dear Smarty Pants,
You comment so favorably on having cancer. Can you really see a positive side to your situation?
S.P. Yes, I can. I no longer have to worry about getting cancer, since I already have it. Also, I no longer am concerned about the effects of diabetes. When my beloved nurse-dietician (Joy Pape) demonstrated how they would start cutting off my toes, I went on an extreme diet for years. Even my very stolid doctor was impressed. But now, it's "Bring on the pineapple Danish!"
Q. You seem to be taking a light hearted attitude. Don't you have any health concerns?
S.P. Sure I do. My biggest enemy right now, is good health. It keeps me away from going to heaven, where I'll finally be happy.